Any questions? Please ask away.
Ask me anything
AWKWARD AWKWARD CONVERSATION WITH BABY ENGLISH TEACHER ABOUT HOW MY SNEEZES PRODUCE SOMETHING THAT LOOKS LIKE SOMETHING THAT COMES OUT OF A MAN AND HER SAYING SHE’S NEVER SEEN IT AND I WAS LIKE “WHAT” AND THEN SHE WAS LIKE “WAIT OF COURSE I’VE SEEN IT HAVE YOU?” AND I WAS LIKE “OMG NO IF I DID I’D DIE” AND WE BOTH WERE LIKE GIGGLING NON STOP SURROUNDED BY LIKE 50 12 YEAR OLDS AND I FEEL SO DIRTY AND SHE’S REALLY CONFUSED BUT I CAN’T BE LIKE “NEVER SEEN IT CUZ I’M A BIG OL DYKE” and this is why you should never come to work with a hangover
I see two 2nd year boys at the end of the corridor trying to look cool. I then see two giggling 1st year girls approaching them, taking the bait.
Me: “YOU ARE NINENSEI. THEY ARE ICHINENSEI. STAY AWAY. *hisses and standing in between*”
Me: NO NAMPA!
Boys: SENSEI KOWAI!!!
Girls and Boys: *run away*
During clean, I found a boy laying in the hallway laughing and holding his hands over his junk, his friends standing around laughing.
Me: “Did you hit him there?!”
Me: “Don’t hit there! That’s a mans future!”
Boys: *LAWWWWL* Future?!
Girl, I don’t fucking know who you ARE with all that purikura bullshit.
How ALTs think Japanese teachers dress all year when they first come to Japan
How they actually dress by winter
[EDIT]How they dress most of the rest of the school year
"I heard usually life is enjoyed things."
"It is thank you for me teach Englis."
"My me morie is best 3 it."
"It was only what I didn’t know because I began it."
So one of my 3rd year girls call me over carefully.
"先生先生、ＨＵＳＳＹどう意味？" (Teacher teacher, what does ‘hussy’ mean?)
"Ah, it’s kinda like ‘slut’. But only like, my おばあさん would use that word."
"えっ、さいやく。。。" (Huh? He’s the worst…)
"Did someone call you that?"
"彼氏。。。" (My boyfriend…)
"TELL HIM ‘FUCK YOU!’!!"
october will soon be octover
Only an ALT understands why this sentence is truly painful.
hoLY SHIT SO TODAY IN CLASS THE WEIRDEST FUCKING SHIT HAPPENED
a bee got into my class and everyone was freaking out, so all of a sudden, this kid goes “I GOT IT” and he fucking pulls out a RUBBER FUCKING BAND AND SHOOTS IT THE FUCK DOWN IN ONE TRY
MY TEACHER JUST STOOD THERE NOBODY KNEW HOW TO REACT
I’ve done a different version of that where mid lecture I either
1. Grab a flying piece of paper from a gust of wind
2. Catch and squash a bug in mid air
Both of this without changing tone, facial expression, and only skipping a slight beat to either put the paper back, or wipe my hand on my pants. They’ve both happened a few times each.
How my teachers see me wearing sunglasses to school
How I feel wearing sunglasses to school
Bitches, my Aryan eyes may be “sugoi” and “suteki” and “honto ni watashi wa kono iro hoshii”, but they do NOTHING for sunlight protection. Either I come to school braving traffic I cannot see with tears streaming down my face, or I look like Lady GaGa. Deal with it.